Patience - A painful lesson !

Patience is a gift of being able to see past the emotion but after going through pain.

We usually get annoyed when things don't happen fast enough, we just keep tapping our feet impatiently or keep looking at our watch.

First of all we must have patience with ourselves.

I know it is very difficult in practice, but when we learn to accept what it is, and embrace life in each present moment, our impatience falls away. Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments, but let us have patience so that we soon shall see them in their proper figures.

If noticed in the above para, I have used the word patience quite a lot of times just as to see the patience of the reader. (on a lighter note)

But jokes apart, as we all know the key to anything and everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.

I would like to recount a small story based on the painful lesson “the patience” teaches us.

Once there was a small kid on earth. One fine day she came to know that God is distributing apples to humans in his place at heaven. The kid was so happy to receive that news and she went with lot of excitement to heaven to get the apple from God. There was a big queue standing to get apple from God and this kid also joined in that queue. While she was waiting, she was fully excited and thrilled for the fact that she is going to receive in person from the God’s hands. 

Her turn too came and the kid showed both her hands to receive the apple. God gave the apple but unfortunately the tiny hands couldn't hold that big apple. Apple fell down and was spoilt. The kid got so disappointed. The ministers near the God informed that if the kid likes to have an apple from God again then she has to again follow the queue. Having waited in patience for so long the kid didn't want to return back to earth with empty hands so she decided to wait again in the queue.

This time the queue has become even longer than the previous one. While waiting in queue, the kid could see lot of people who returned back with apple in hands and also with utmost satisfaction on their faces. The kid was so much disappointed and thought, “Why only I didn't get the apple in hand when all others were easily able to get it. What is the sin I did that I alone should suffer like this??” Now the kid was so scared that she should not miss the apple again.

Her turn came and God gave the apple to the kid’s hands and after giving the apple God spoke to the kid."My dear child, last time after giving you the apple only I noticed that the apple I gave to you was a rotten apple and that’s why I made that to fall down from your hands. Having given you a rotten apple, I felt bad for you and I wanted to give you the best apple in the farm and that time the best apple in the farm was growing and that’s why I made you to wait such a long time in the queue. Here it is. Now the apple that you have in hand is ‘The Best’ apple in the farm till date. Enjoy!"

Sometimes it so happens, as even after we put our 100% dedication and commitment things may get delayed or things may go wrong. Believe that God has something great for us and that’s why this has happened.

“All good things come to those who wait ??”

It is a good saying but this one is incomplete. If waiting was all it took to have good things in life everyone could achieve their dreams because waiting is effortless. Good things rarely come effortlessly. Passivity is a habit that must never be confused with patience. In this country passivity is one of our biggest weaknesses. This manifests itself not only in personal lives without any real direction and conviction, but also in our politics, and our moral and ethical standards. Patience is not passively waiting for things to change. “That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience… 

Setbacks and injuries?? Have patience, don’t look into others… 

Setbacks and defeats will come on the journey to achieving your dreams. At such times, patience is what is required. We may be too close to success. 

But do not judge your success based on other peoples success. One of the things that make people impatient is seeing other people getting ahead faster than they are. This is especially true if they started off at the same time and with the same resources and opportunities. 

In order to have patience it is necessary that you know what your plan is and where you are headed as an individual. There are many ways to achieve any one thing. The trick is to stick to your own plan when others around you seem to be getting ahead much faster than you. Yes, they may be enjoying more success than you, but you know nothing about where they are ultimately headed. Why should your path and your direction be determined by what others are doing? Be patient with your own plans and your own dreams.

Most of all learn to be patient with oneself. 

On a concluding note, we are not perfect and we will make mistakes along the way. But just make sure that we are on the right track and headed in the right direction, however many mistakes and setbacks we might encounter on the way. And just one thing remember; don’t just look forward to reaching the destination. Enjoy the journey too… 

Searching for peace ..

There was a time when I thought peace was a destination and there is nothing to it more. But, later realised that to achieve peace it costs our whole life in searching for it and still many don't reach that destination.It seemed like something I needed to chase or find but definitely not something I could experience without dramatically changing my life.Despite seeing peace as an endpoint, I also saw it as something passive and that's the reason why I was so stressed, thinking, I have much to do.

Now I can say that, peace is always available, and like any desirable state of mind, it requires effort, even if that effort entails consciously choosing to be still.

So, What is peace of mind?

It is a state of inner calmness together with a sense of freedom and it can be called as the time when thoughts and worries cease, and there are no stress, strain or fears. Such moments are not so rare. You have experienced them in the past, at times when you were engaged in some kind of an absorbing or interesting activity, say for instances like: watching an entertaining movie or TV program,when being in the company of someone you love, while being absorbed in reading a book and the best time is when you are deeply asleep, you are not aware of your thoughts, and therefore, you are in a state of inner peace.Such activities, and similar ones, take away the mind from its usual thoughts and worries, replacing them with an experience of inner peace.

What has usually disturbed these moments are memories of guilt and shame, carried by the ego and which resurfaces every now and then, causing discomfort. These feelings could be because of one's own (mis) deeds or another's.

You might also ask, whether it is possible to turn the living in a peace way into a habit, and enjoy it always and under all circumstances??

Yes!

First, you need to learn to bring more moments of inner peace into your daily life. Later, you will be able to experience these moments in times of trouble or difficulties too, when you really need inner calmness and tranquility.

• You can turn peace of mind into a natural habit, but to do so, some inner work is required. This work includes changing a few mental habits, improving your concentration, certain forms of meditation.
• Next, stay away from negative conversations and from negative people, but identifying negative and positive needs understanding of the circumstances.
• Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive.
• Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. Jealousy and low self esteem, often lead to lack of inner peace.This is so often happening in this competitive world.
• Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries
• Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
• Don't take everything personally, a certain degree of emotional and mental detachment is desirable.
• Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically.

There have been moments in almost everyone's day-to-day living when one has experienced the true joy of living, with calm, peace and tranquility. Achieving all these doesn't make one reach the destination which i mentioned earlier..but may be moving towards the same.

 

Lend a "Caring" hand..

I have great regards for the people who can "give" without "remembering" and "take" without "forgetting". Those are the people who are called as a real helpers.

Life has its own way of shining on people who stand in the sunshine of kind actions. It has to come from heart with a true spirit of giving and selflessness. Whatever talent we have got is nothing , unless it is also used for the benefit of other people. Even if we are so proud about our talent, one day it might even work against us.


Complete Happiness!

The greatest joys I have found in my life is from my quite hopes and being a helping hand, sometimes like a shadow or sometimes like the root of the tree. Ultimately, the tree bears greatest fruits only when it is nurtured by caring hands. It is the same for people..try to give some change in the life of others by bringing in positive energy into them which will in turn boosts us with the happiness which we can never get from anything else in the world. I will also bet that there is no great happiness than this.

Feeling helpless??

It doesn't matter!
If you have not been served personally by any caring hands in your own life, do not bitter, but instead, ask yourself who you can now serve the way you would have loved to be. If you have had some tough times in life, now more than ever it is the time to make someone else's life better.
This is out of my experience, that reject the role of "victim" and become the "healer" and "teacher".
It has got us to realise something huge in life that how we treat other people not only changes their life but also more than that it changes US.
Through this we receive an important part of our own identity.

Real Success.

All of us think that success is winning over others, but that is not the case,according to me it has nothing in accomplishing for yourself, it so matters what you do for others.
We should remember one thing in life that none of us have reached this level solely by ourselves, it was always that someone had willingly bent down to help us. I would always like to be the bent one who helps as it gives me the real success in life.

Kind of help required...
All over the world there are lot of helping centers and other trusts and so on. It all has its name and also they do a great job. There are some people who are socially active to lend help to people who are in need. But these are mostly for the poor people, helping them with money.. but I feel it is more than that they require more of LOVE and CARING rather than MONEY...

But be it a rich or poor.. having a concern over others is the best help one person can do to the other in this current scenario of the world..that itself is a GREAT HELP...More than "helping" it is best to call a "caring" hand.

Look up and not down.
Look forward and not backward.
Look out and not in.

And, Lend your hand to seek change people for the better and have your existence proved by the raised hands of the people you have served, who will say without doubt that you have cared.

Never miss a chance to shut up!

Need of the hour - Silence!!!

It is the time for refreshment; try to be still so we might not miss this new joy.

How sweet is the sound of silence?!

How tender is its touch?!

How fragrant is its breathing?!

How lovely is its form?!

I feel these have to be experienced to thoroughly enjoy it.

A seed in the womb of the mother earth lies in silence absorbing nourishment, until its expanded soul bursts forth into blossom. It means that the spirit of genius waits patiently its appointed hour of awakening.

Whenever we are listening to fine music if someone speaks or makes a noise we are distracted, and jarred by it and often we lose the subtle beauty of the music. The same is applicable for silence too. We can easily see its technical reason, how it aids us in the act of concentration.

One of the first forms of discipline the neophytes (beginners) have to undergo is the practice of silence. They must never speak before their teachers unless they are asked to do so. The necessity of this is felt in our education. Unless the mind is receptive, any amount of time expended in study is of very little avail.

Maria Mountessori, in her system of education advocates this idea of silence.

She came to conclusion that the children’s spontaneous activity in this environment revealed an internal program of development and provides opportunities for it to proceed and flourish. This mode of living and thinking, however, is quite out of fashion with our modern life and habit. There are some who feel a strong aversion to it and this is because they confuse the idea of silence with dullness and inaction.

What is the aim of silence?

It is not to free our mind from thought and assume a state of emptiness and passivity. On the contrary, silence becomes a definite factor for our efficient and concentrated thought.

We can even connect this parallel with machinery; that which avoids friction most makes the least noise and endures the longest.

Bringing out the genius within YOU.

If we do not try to keep the minds of children altogether occupied with the artificial toys and noisy games, they will work and invent newer ones and their quickening of the inner faculties is the gist of true education. So, this is one of the most interesting phenomenon that takes place in connection with the practice of silence is that the mind evolves creative genius.

Emotional aspect!

There are two categories of people; one who imagines that they cannot be happy unless they are constantly in the company of others and other one is who think that they must get away from everything and everybody in order to have peace of mind. What exactly I mean by silence is not getting away from the crowd, nor breaking away from the noisy part of life. It requires something more than running away from people. We may even enter the unrevealed paths and yet we may not find silence in our mind, when it’s actually noisy.

Problem solving

Another mind and another brain cannot think out our problem, because it does not know the entire situation. We cannot give a true picture to any one no matter how close they are to us. There is, however, a way of finding our own solution and that is by our learning to enter within our own depth.

Eternal Silence..

Silence when I am walking, 

When I think, 

It fills this hollow world and is the better choice to make.

Happiness- Dig within.

Looking at the world today, we might easily forget that the main purpose of our life- you could call it the heart of being human – is to be HAPPY…All of us share the same wish, and the same right, to seek happiness and avoid suffering. But often we confuse ourselves the happiness with the state of being pleasure for the moment. We look to experiences or material possessions to bring us satisfaction. We should remember one thing that sense of pleasure is never long lasting. To quote some simple examples like having a sumptuous meal, it might delight for a while but it does not lead to a deeper happiness. Let’s not even talk about relationships, which are typically fraught with ups and downs and are, by their very nature very nature impermanent. So, we can easily eliminate the word “pleasure” from the meaning of “true happiness”. Pleasure brings the most sufferings in its wake.

How does true happiness comes about?

There are many ways we can train our mind in happiness like choosing loving thoughts, words and actions. The more we cultivate love, compassion, joy and impartiality, the more we will be a vibrant source of happiness for others and ourselves too. When we are in touch with our true nature, our innermost essence of joy naturally arises.

Most of us are not even aware of our innermost essence!

We think thoughts and emotions are the real self but they are simply like clouds passing by in the open, clear space of our original mind. Sometimes the clouds are white and puffy and sometimes stormy, but they are never permanent nor are our true essence. All sufferings arise just by confusing the clouds for sky and holding on them ever so tightly.

Seeing happiness in the other person’s eyes is the true love, same way, knowing that the reason behind the other person’s happiness is because of us gives the true happiness for us.

Happiness is a Journey…

It’s a continuous search for more and more happiness because we never suffice ourselves. How to maximize our potential to be happy? The answer to this can only be “Make the best mask you can and put a big smiley face over your pain”      

Roadmap to happiness…

Love yourselves no matter what happens.

There is no defect or deficiency in us that prevents us from being happy. However, there are some false beliefs that needs to be challenged and hurts that needs to be healed, so that we can open our hearts fully to love and to live.

When the mind goes beyond the thought of “Me” … then there is a possibility of incorruptible happiness…

See Perfection...

It is the time of the year to believe in the perfection around us.

I have been nearsighted since many years. The moment I wake up each day, I have to reach for my eyeglasses and will take them off only when I closed my eyes to sleep and I am very uncomfortable to stay without it for even a short period of time.Recently, I came across a book on metaphysics, which stated that physical changes stem from inner decisions we make and “vision” is related to our willingness (or resistance) to see what is happening in our life.So, I have decided to test that theory and shift my attitude to see all things as perfect.

 When I say “perfection” I was of the opinion that it means a rigid, specific standard we meet with no mistakes. Now, my definition is much broader, it is choosing our perception of what is around us, whether it is error-free or NOT!

It’s hard sometimes to see the perfection when we’re struggling for and we’re more focused on what is NOT working than what IS.  We then get more of what we’re focused on, so it is very important to instead find what is working! 

“Perfection”- A disease?

“Perfection" infects every corner of society. It infects our schools, neighborhoods, workplaces. This is not to say that there aren't a lot of genuinely, happy people. There is nothing more beautiful than a person finding true happiness in who they are and what they believe. No, this is not me trying to diminish the happiness in others. This is merely me pathetically attempting to put a face on a problem that I see everywhere but few people ever notice.

In this life, certain actions can be perfected. A baseball pitcher can throw a no-hit, no-run ball game. A surgeon can perform an operation without an error (he have too ;) ). A musician can render a selection without a mistake. One can likewise achieve perfection in being punctual, keeping the Word of Wisdom, and so on. the enormous effort required to attain such self- mastery is rewarded with a deep sense of satisfaction. More importantly, spiritual attainments in morality accompany us into eternity. This does not mean that these people never made mistakes or never had need of correction. The process of perfection includes challenges to overcome and steps to repentance that may be very painful.

Nothing is as perfect as it seems.

We should remember that “I see perfection, and I see perfectly.”!

 That is Perfection as it is...

The Magic of Attitude... \o/

My life is directly proportional to attitude, the longer I live, more I realize the impact of attitude in my life. At anytime, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way (the change of inevitable is impossible!!) The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude.

Attitude --???  --THE STATUS FIXING BEHAVIOUR !??! 

Attitude of a person depends mainly on personal experience or learning through observation from the environment. Some mistake personality of a person as attitude, which is not the case. There is a “thick” line of difference between them. As unlike personality, attitudes are expected to change on day to day basis by gathering of experience. So, is the reason that why experienced people are “bigheaded”?!?!? –it is their attitude (demonstration of gaining something in life).  

Scientifically, I have read that attitudes are part of the human brain’s associative networks which are nothing but the spider like structures residing in the long term memory that consists of affective and emotion nodes. Through these change of attitude is also possible and if the change happens then that is a perfect example of a response of communication done to any person through some kind of persuasion or interpersonal attraction. This is how biologically “attitudes” nothing but the dynamic element in human behavior works!!

Attitude- Mentally & Physically

It is our mental attitude which makes the world what is for us, acting or re-acting to a situation showcases a person’s hidden attitude, I have used the word ‘hidden’ because situation makes a person to react, which is completely unpredicted and ultimately brings out the true colour of that person even if he was ‘mocking’ with his artificial behavior earlier. Learning to see things in proper lights can make our attitudes shine better in a positive way.

Attitude is not restricted to mental stage of a person; this mainly applies to the body arrangement or structure for communicative or expressive purpose. Showing of attitudes in fine art , the posture or gesture by a dancer, singer or any artist depicts attitude or their style. Be it Rajinikanth from India or Jackie Chan from China, both have their own styles.

Attitude in Sports??

The way you do anything is the way you do everything…

Here is an instance, how attitude works in sports?

During the training session, a coach made all the athletes to sit together and asked them to perform a simple task-making a paper plane and gave them a time span of five minutes and asked them to perform the given task. Some of them folded the paper so that it looks roughly like the demonstration version and some folded the paper so that it is identical in most ways to the demonstration version but with small variations in the shape and size of the folds here and there. Out of all, only one athlete ensured that every fold was even and smooth. They will make it certain that both sides of the plane are balanced and symmetrical. He also put in some extra folds on the wing to try and make a more advanced design. And that’s the attitude one should aim to foster- The attitude to do every task, regardless of its nature-- to the best of their own ability.. As the task given by the coach to the athletes ,who represent their countries, was immaterial for their personal growth but still that was taken seriously by one person-that’s the kind of attitude to be developed in order to excel. In this case, where the other athletes have asked themselves “Can I do this?” or “How can I do this?” one athlete has asked “How can I do this well and maybe even do it better than expected.” The athlete has challenged him/herself and been motivated to complete a relatively simple task to the best of his ability.

Attitude in workplace?

Jobs and relationships may come and go but attitude should be counted as our life time companion. It is just as “we cannot take a vacation from ourself!”

The people in workplace can be distributed in either one of the boxes (types) of attitudes.

1.       Neutral Attitudes.

They are nothing but spectators, very safe players, stop their work with observing others and avoid any changes or risks. Show hesitant.

2.       Negative Attitudes.

Critics… They try to find fault in others through imposing their experience or egoistic nature. They often appear frustrated or pessimistic. If someone says, "I hate working on this project." represents a negative attitude of that person towards the project. He either thinks so, or he believes that this work is boring.

3.       Positive Attitudes.

They are the actual players of life. Takes risk and willing to make mistakes and also enjoys learning. They are usually confident and optimistic at the same time it is very rare to find people having these traits. If some one says, "I like dancing.", it represents positive thinking towards dancing. This attitude is formed because he believes that he likes dancing, or feels happy while dancing.

At the end the organisational structure of a company/business/workplace is figured out as under; most of them come under the 1^st category (75%- Staffs), who is ruled by the 2^nd category (20%-Supervisors/Managers), taking control of both is the 3^rd category (5%-Owner/Chairman) which is the rare category but special category (who have got the right attitude).

How attitudes of Men and Women differ ??? Men like the Moon & Women like the Sun!!

The natural behavior of men varies according to their mood during a certain period of time or at a certain point of time like the moon which changes from full to half moon, new moon, waning moon or waxing moon, that’s why regarded as distinct object. Women conduct themselves thinking like the star that is the center of attraction. Pass on their magic of charm like the rays and also at times of rail against ( show anger, hatred or sulkiness), like the heat waves of the sun.

I would say an attitude of a man/woman can be referred for his/her approach, outlook, manner, position, feelings, thoughts, mind-set, and way of thinking/behavior, opinion/view point, and posture/gesture. Driving all positive has got the right attitude and the target in life is also hit. At the end, a person with the right attitude can create a history (of his name/fame) before he kicks the bucket. And that is the one’s “Magic of Attitude”!!

I would like to leave you with a famous quote by Winston Churchill which speaks volumes about positive attitude in a single line that you can ponder upon--Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Yes, even I have got attitude!

 I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.